... can you get me a new set of lungs?

Kicking it in the lounge, listening to tunes...
Heater is on...
Dinner is cooking...

All this and there is something wrong...

I get up to get a drink (no one else was sitting at the time),  I take a few steps and slip over, crashing to the floor!  I take a quick look down and notice some slimy thing lying on the carpet.  Not to worry I says... it's just the lung I coughed up last night!!

... can I play with your phone?

Technology has been developing so fast, you buy a PC today and its out of date before the "check" clears!!
Gone are the days where people would flock around to see the new piece of technology, by the time you have it unpacked, everyone else has the newest one at theirs!
Phones are the same.. back in the "olden" days of the Nokia 5110, where you had a phone that's primary function was actually making/receiving calls (who'd of thought).  Ahh the 5110, the outstanding exterior antenna, interchangeable front face, and the good old green and black screen.  If you were lucky enough you also got the "snake" game!!  Wow, it's amazing how far we have come!!  Well, now with touch screens and Internet access at our fingertips... it's scary to think were we will be in the next 20 years!

... sign this sponsership contract.

(Welcome Back)

I get the tap on the shoulder at work this week, and have been told that I have to complete a "Fraud Q+A" online.  Apparently if i don't a get 80% pass mark it needs to be re-completed... phewie!!  Not only can I see a lot of people selecting wrong answers on purpose (to make the experience last longer) but there has to be some lying going on!!  Every Christmas I see packages arriving for certain people in the office from certain suppliers... will they send them back??  Will this end the tyranny certain stationary companies hold over the small and helpless workplace?

I hate money grubbing, scheming people who only do things for money!!

That's it... after I finish my Coke, I will switch off my Toshiba laptop, slip my Apple iphone into my RipCurl Jacket, put on my Adidias shoes and Nike hat, grab my Billabong back pack and drive my Toyota Corolla home, carrying the new diary that was sent to my from one of my works suppliers.

...hand over the dictionary.

Let me just clear something up from the start... this blog is not designed to bash people who may or may not have commented on my grammar.  The title of may blog site was written "your" to prove a point, and here is that point...

So many times in the English Language there are words that mean many things but sound the same... take the word there, it is their, they're and there... all sound the same, all spelt different and have different meanings... all I can say to that is... WHY???  Most other languages have different sounding words for unique things.  It doesn't make sense that we have got to be different!!  You cannot tell me that there are people walking around saying to people "Hey did you see that over there?  And that's a there with an ere not a eir!!"  Or "You're looking great tonight, and that's as in your are and night with a ght!!"

Pls ppl, if u wanna pick on me typin, I will typ like dis! 
ttyl, and hand over the "net talk" dictionary!!

(I have opened the blog comments for anyone to post... feel free to add what you like!)

...pass the internal infection!

So today at Church we had a lunch / get together...
Whilst cooking on the new BBQ at my sis's place, me and the bro in-law pondered... 
Why in the world would manufacturers of BBQ's put fake non-stick on the surface!! 
Seriously, if I wanted to make people sick, I would undercook the chicken, or just cook majorly frozen meats like some I know.
Wake-up makers of the BBQ who shall be un-named (unless your reading and want to chuck me a freebie, Jackaroo)

Chuck us the internal infection when your done!!

... can you erase the blackboard?

School is in!!  And low and behold, all the blackboards have been eraticated and infiltrated by the "Whiteboard Clan"! 
Smart boards are all the rage these days, but give me the good ol' blackboard any day. 
How is a teacher supposed to crack it at the kids by breaking chalk and throwing the bits at the kids??
Whiteboard markers don't break too easy you know!
Bring back the blackboard and the clapping of the chalk-dust filled dusters!!

... hand over the bucket of ice!!

Man, I don't know about you, but these nights are killing me!!  25 last night and I don't want to know what it is right now!!  
10 days ago I was sitting in a bar in Nagano, Japan (home of the 1998 winter olympics [name dropper I know]) and it got to a massive -20oC overnight!!  Now I come home to this weather of 40oC!! 
I will take two Winters over one Summer ANY DAY!!!

Wanna trade??  Oh, and don't forget to get more ice for the bucket while your up!!